Ten reasons I know I’m not in Kansas anymore, Toto

1. The water coming out of the sink is brown. There are brown bits in the brown water. After I leave the tap running for some time, the water becomes less brown and the brown bits are smaller. This is pleasing.
2.  Dinner costs US$1.50.
3.  I begin to learn the subtle differences between tofu and tempe. I feign interest because it’s better than looking too closely at the meat on offer.
4.  Clothes disappear from my hotel room. After studying my language dictionary, I manage to say to the guy downstairs who may or may not be a paid hotel employee: ‘Favor ida, hau hakarak rona’ (Please, I want clothes). Apparently our hotel takes a proactive approach to laundry.
5. The ‘turbo cool’ refrigerator in my room is not plugged in and may be a classified as a storage unit.
6.  I’ve already started rationing chocolate frogs. Unsuccessfully.
7.  During lunch at a local warung, a man tries to sell us fruit. No big deal. Ten minutes later, another man tries to sell us ceremonial swords.
8. At language school, your toilet options are squat or standard cistern with a hive of bees hanging over the top. Both make you feel decidedly vulnerable.
9.  According to local people, may name is now ‘Joe’ or ‘Joey’. Z is not a universal letter!
10.  I wrote this blog post on Monday. It’s now Saturday and I’m posting it. Thank you Dili Beach Hotel!